This elderly woman dressed in a raincoat and pushing a shopping trolley came into the shop this morning attracted by a violet teddy bear in the window. She bought the toy, for herself, she stressed The teddy was her favourite colour. Then she also bought a teddy-unicorn with violet hooves and corn. I spotted it for her in a one-pound basket. She was delighted and told me she never had soft toys as a child so now she has many of them and they live on her bed. Just like my friend's mother, I thought to myself. She sits them on a shelf next to the bed for the night. I liked this woman straightaway, her warmth, her peace, gentleness and kindness. She didn't mind talking to me about her life. Being 83 now, she is in a very good health and good spirit. Her birthplace was Bejing, she had a sister and before her mother died, she asked her sister to take care of the two girls as she knew that her husband might re-marry and it might not be easy to be stepchildren. That's what happened, Father agreed to that, especially that he lost the job and then, indeed got married again and had two more daughters by the new wife. So lucky, the older ones were not living with them, they would probably be like slaves to the stepfamily.
I asked her if she was from China and she said she was born in Bejing and the life was good there when she was a child. She didn't mind talking to me about her life. Being 83 now, she is in a very good health and good spirit.She had a sister and before her mother died, she asked her sister to take care of the two girls as she knew that her husband might re-marry and it might not be easy for them to be stepchildren. That's what happened, Father agreed to that arrangement, especially that he lost the job and then, indeed got married again and had two more daughters by the new wife. So lucky the older ones were not living with them, they would probably be like slaves to the step-family.
Later, like other girls from her family and friends, she met her future husband, a Scotsman working in the oil industry, at one of social occasions, as she told me, specially organised so the girls could get out of this restricted community where a girl could not see much of the outside world and really, didn't matter much in society.
After they got married and moved in together 'they' would visit her almost every day when he was at work and ask her why she didn't marry this or that boy from her neighbourhood, why she married a foreigner. That was not well seen at all. But she was answering them: "None of these boys wanted me, what should I do?" "How would I be able to exist without a husband?" "He was the only man who wanted to marry me." She learnt to say these things from her cousins and girlfriends, as all or most of them married foreigners.
The husband was given a travel permit several times, but he was reluctant to leave her behind. She persuaded him to go abroad or else, they might not grant him one when he would really want it. So he went and they agreed to meet in Hong Kong. She was only 19 or 20 yrs old and knew little more then her home, like other girls in China those days. She had never travelled by train, never been to anywhere. But she decided to set off on this long journey, from Beijing to Shanghai and then to Hong Kong. She only took a little suitcase with lots of knickers, a small pillow, a top to change and a really pretty dress to wear for the meeting with her husband. She had the money attached to her waist. The journey took many, many days. When the knickers got dirty, she would change them on the train and throw the dirty ones through the window. (She showed me how she threw them through the imaginary window, one pair of knickers after another..) Every time the train stopped, and it rarely did, the passengers would jump out and run to some kind of a place to get some water into the bottles or cups they had with them for the purpose. She didn't go, she didn't bring any vessel, how would she know? There was only a basic toilet on the train. It was the first time she travelled by train, she was among strangers. The train was very crowded. Through the whole journey she only lived on oranges or tangerines (I am not sure), she took plenty from home. But other passengers were looking after her and they guarded her from the evil ones. They were very good to her.
When she arrived in Shanghai, she was shocked. Her husbands company booked a hotel room for on the 20th floor for her. She had never been in the lift and so she got sick, she couldn't eat, she couldn't sleep. She was shocked, I reckon. Taking the lift downstairs in the morning, she got sick again, she could eat all the same. But she made it to the last train and got to the border. There were plenty of Chinese soldiers and/or guards and the experienced travellers were telling her how to behave not to raise suspicion or she might not be let out. It was scary. However, she saw her husband across the border accompanied by some high rank officials and she knew she was safe.
Then they both had a happy life, went to live in different places of the world as his job took him. She lived through the war in Korea and the one in Vietnam, but they were all right. They lived in China, looked after her family ( I guess she meant the aunt who brought her up) when they grew old and then went to live in Scotland with his widowed old mother. It was only fair, she reasoned, you need to look after the young and the old in the family.However, the husband was telling her they wouldn't stay in Scotland, it's far too cold and too damp, and all the money he'd earned would go up the chimney (she showed with her arm how it would go up the chimney) for the heating. And so they moved to London, where their daughter lives with her family. The lady is a great-grandmother (recent event) and a widow (for a few years), but she bought the soft toys for herself, because she likes them and she never had soft toys as a child, only the horrible hard ones. They will sit on her bed with all the others.
Regretfully, no pictures to illustrate this story though. However, further down is the one with a giraffe. The beast was a gift from Africa for the emperor some time around 1491, which was the year when China discovered the world, according to the famous book title.
I met a lady who helps her husband with advertising this Sunday antique fair:
Tabbard Theatre poster of the current play looked interesting:
Somehow such stripy outfit brings about horrific connotations...
GOOD NIGHT!!! :-)
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